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#F1: The ABC’s of Formula One – From A To Z

by on August 15, 2012

In need of your F1 fix during the break?  Here you go, the ABC’s of Formula One…

A-LONSO Fernando:
Leads the championship by 40 points at the mid-season mark (summer break)
Has won three races
Does not have a single “Fastest Lap”
Has been on Pole once
Has finished every race in the points

B-RUNO Senna
Has a total of 24 points collected in this 2012 season to date
Has failed to score in 5 races and has retired once
His best finish was in a wet Malaysia 6th

C-HARLES Pic
Has collected 0 points
Has never qualified better than 19
Has retired 3 times
Has finished 15th twice which is his best finishing position

D-ANIEL Ricciardo
Has two points more than Charles Pic
Best Qualifying position was 6th
Best finishing position was 9th
Has retired once

E-DDIE Jordan
Has unofficially shrunk by 2 inches and now looks like a dwarf beside David Coulthard and Jake Humphrey
Insists on having the final decision on his own wardrobe

F-ELIPE Massa
Has scored a total of 25 points
Best Qualifying position was 4th and best finish was also 4th
In the first five races, his total points scored was only 2 points
Rumours swirling about his contract not being renewed at Ferrari and being replaced

G-ROSJEAN Romain
Has retired four times this season
Some have selected “ROGRO” as the suprise performer of the season thus far
He has 3 podium finishes and has collected 76 points in the first half of the season

H-ULKENBURG Nico
Failed to finish one race
Has qualified in the top 10 three times
Has failed to score in six races but has collected 19 points in total

I-NDIAN GP
Formula One will be holding a race in India on October 28th
The circuit has 16 corners and is 5.124kmsin length
There will be 60 laps run which will make the total distance about 307.2kms
Vettel holds the current fastest lap 1:27.249 (2011)

J-ENSON Button
Lead the championship at one point this season
Has won more races in 2012 than more than half of the field of drivers
Has as many victories this season as Vettel, Rosberg and Maldonado

K-OBAYASHI Kamui
Has retired his Sauber 3 times and failed to score in 6 occasions
His best finish was 4th and has qualified 3rd once
This fan favourite has amassed 33 points

L-EWIS Hamilton
Strong performances that have not always yielded fruit, still he has 117 points
Has retired once and failed to score twice
He is one of the few that have scored more than one victory (2)
Has been on the podium 5 times
He is one of the title favourites if McLaren are on their game

M-ICHAEL Schumacher
Has retired out of 6 races
Has qualified in top 10, eight times
Has one podium and 29 points

N-ICO Rosberg
Has finished every race thus far and has scored points in all but 3
He has Mercedes AMG’s only victory this season
Has collected 77 points in 11 races

O-VERTAKING
According to official Formula One statisticians, the total number of overtakes in 2012 is 327 thus far, which is one more than at this point last season.

P-ASTOR Maldonado
Has retired twice and failed to score in all but two races
Has won a race this season
Has been penalized and reprimanded for his aggressive driving which ruined many a race for his rivals
Continues to do his best impression of former driver Yuji Ide and is secretly in training for a demolition derby in the US mid-west

Q-UICK
Quick is an understatement when trying to describe McLaren’s record setting pit stop at 2.31 seconds.

R-ÄIKKÖNEN Kimi
Well welcome back Kimi, slow start and now being considered one of the biggest championship threats
Has scored in all but one race
Has been on the podium 5 times
Collected 116 points and shows no sign of slowing down

S-ERGIO Perez
Made an impression in a wet Malaysia as he chased down Alonso for a win.  A driver error may have cost him his first F1 victory which may have also changed the look of the championship
Is the only North American driver in Formula One (Mexico)
Has scored in only 5 races and has retired twice
Has 47 points which some consider an underachievement based on the apparent performance of the Sauber.

T-EXAS
This year we see the return of F1 in the USA in the great state of Texas at Circuit Of The Americas
It is said to be state of the art with a 40k square foot media center and 120,000 seating capacity
The circuit has 20 corners is 5.51kms in length and set for 56 laps

U-GLY
We started the F1 pre-season with the launches of the 2012 challengers, for the most part we all said the same thing….DAMN, these are UGLY cars.  Platypus noses or not, it has been a fantastic season, but the cars are still UGLY.

V-ETTEL Sebastian
Sits third behind Webber in the championship. 
Has retired once and failed to score twice and has been on the podium less than Kimi
He does not seem to be the happy-go-lucky Seb of last year when he dominated most of the season

W-EBBER Mark
Has outperformed his team mate and two time world drivers champion this season
Has scored in all but one race and has two victories making him one of the few repeat winners thus far
He has 124 points and sits 2nd in the championship
Despite links to a Ferrari drive for 2013, he decided to extend his stay with RBR

X-ENODOCHEIONOLOGY
A condition not experienced by many except perhaps die-hard fans and some F1 journalists and photographers.  It is defined as a love of hotels

Y-UKE
This is term many of you may not know this term by name but we all suffer from it especially when F1 is on break and in the off season.  Yuke in definition, means to itch.  We all experience the F1 itch at some point or another in the course of a year.

Z-EPHYR
You may ask what in the bloody blazes, a Ford Zephyr has to do with F1.  Indirect affiliation only.  It happens to be the vehicle that Professor Syd Watkins (Eric Sydney Watkins) used to compete in his only ever motorsport event.
And there you have it folks, the ABC’s of Formula One as of Mid-season 2012.
I sincerely hope this served as an entertaining distraction during the break.

Author: Ernie Black
Twitter: @Goggs_on_F1
Blog: http://thef1poet.wordpress.com

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From → Features, Formula One

One Comment
  1. Great insight and fun at the same time…as always. I have got my F1 fix, for now :). This summer holiday is terribly long!

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