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by on March 2, 2012


10. Schumacher uses Viagra as a driver aid to help with a third brake pedal.

 9.  Lotus is really a French drag queen also known as Renault

 8.  Massa wears a giant condom under his race suit because of repeated run-ins with Hamilton…better safe than sorry

 7.  Pirelli provides every team on the grid with colour coded rubbers, some are slick, some soft, some harder, and some even have treads for when things get wet and sloppy.

 6.  Button dips himself in Extra Virgin Olive Oil before each GP weekend to remain the smoothest driver on the track.

 5.  Eddie Jordan does not wear underpants while commentating on F1, sudden updrafts are believed to cause him to make questionable statements.

 4.  Alonso actually only has one massive eyebrow

 3.  Jean Eric Vergne are actually identical twins, Jean and Eric, but the FIA have no idea.

 2.  Kimi has a Gorilla fetish and an abnormal attraction to ice cream and Coca-Cola.

 1.  Marussia is no longer a Virgin

Some of these aren’t true,

The rest are certainly fake.

They’re just for fun and laughs,

So relax for goodness sake!





From → Features, Formula One

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